In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
