Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
