yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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