oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
