i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize