Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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