Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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