Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
