Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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