Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
