so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
