I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
