so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she looked like the before picture.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
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