The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
