He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
