who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I deserve this hangover.
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