Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
