at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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