Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
