Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize