this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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