I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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