A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
