First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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