I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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