Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
