If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize