When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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