What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
