I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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