Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
