The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
