And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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