i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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