She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
