I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
