my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
