You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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