Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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