It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
