I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize