I'm so fucking centered right now
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Never underestimate the power of titties
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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