I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
