i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize