I wanna passion pit in your ass
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize