...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize