I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
