i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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