I think scott just propositioned me for sex
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
