he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We have started to decorate penises.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
