I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
