I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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