Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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