Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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