We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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