dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
