Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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