dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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