He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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