So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
